Path to Wise Living
Listen!
The art of listening is dying a slow death in the public square. Words used to destroy!
We see it in the church too. I’ve been in meetings where words were swords thrust deeply into the heart. Those wounds almost never heal. We’ve all been “cut to the quick” by a word?
Once I pastored a church, guiding us to decide on a land purchase for our first building. Wow! The jabs people can throw at each other without lifting a hand! I still have scars.
To live and love well demands wide open ears and hearts. We must cup our ears with our hands to listen to a personal word. The Master calls us to hear his personal voice and written word. Without hearing we lose our way.
We can do better and get better at listening!
We can grow to become good listeners. How to start? Come to God in submission. Then in an act of surrender and humility let his presence and love pervade our whole being. When our hearts are aligned with his, listening capacity grows.
Here are four things good listeners do.
They don’t interrupt
If you listen to any two debating, you’ll hear, “Please don’t interrupt!” We know intuitively when others interrupt us midstream, they’re not listening well. When others aren’t listening, we feel devalued. We feel we matter little. Not a good feeling! Always seek to be the first to hear and the last to speak. Always seek to understand, then to be understood.
They don’t have the last word
When listening try not to have the last word, especially in conversations where you disagree. The dynamic of a conversation changes drastically when we humble ourselves in listening. We can train ourselves to not have the last word. It’s good for our soul and respectful to others.
Disclaimer: I’ve found it extremely difficult to have the last word and remain loving at the same time. You?
Don’t self-justify. Don’t one-up others. Train your body to be at rest, your tongue to stay still, and your heart to be compassionate. Even when persecuted, be self-controlled. Imagine what Jesus could have said but didn’t when his haters were determined to be right!
They don’t offer unwanted opinions
I heard this in my early years in ministry: “If you have an opinion, you have an agenda.” I avoid this when listening. An agenda marginalizes listening.
Proving someone wrong feels good, but it destroys hearing. Quiet your mind and heart when you listen.
They put relationships before problem solving
Maintaining good relationship matters more than solving problems or winning arguments. Marriages work better. Churches too. Society thrives when relationships take a front seat and winning arguments a back seat.
Hearing problems begins in the heart. Good listening is a choice. Ponder these godly thoughts from these godly leaders: Proverbs 1:5, 8-9; 19:20, 25:12; James 1:19; Matthew 11:5; John 8:47.