The Overtaxed Leader (2)
In my first post about the overtaxed leader, I claimed that one way leaders deal with the stress of ministry is to distance themselves from others. When they do, alienation, separation, isolation and loneliness emerge. Without tending to these symptoms, hurt is inescapable. Constant hurt leads to quitting ministry. The wreckage of abandoning the call spreads like ripples in a pond.
I also said I would offer ways to cope when ministry overtaxes us, not knowing where my offer would take me. I found myself reflecting on the nature of ministry itself.
Ministry leaders (I am one) have a sense of call to help others. In the church we help others become like Christ. The source of this deep desire arises from hearing the voice of God in our soul. But that is where our past wounds also reside. Abraham’s call to faith and ministry was mingled with he wound of infertility. Moses’ call came from the trauma of anger and frustration, even murder. David’s heart for God was born out of power, lust, adultery and treachery. Jesus came to Paul after he inflicted violence against innocent believers. They all heard the voice of God amid the agony of their soul.
Pastors and leaders have a past like everyone else. Tucked under the layers of life are wounds. Some already healed. Others, scars. Some, still healing. And most serious, the open wounds. One coping strategy ministers must learn is to recognize their wounds before helping others. Become vulnerable. We are all wounded healers. How strange, those two words together! But they fit like hand in glove. Split them apart and our calling to help becomes impotent.
A healthy leader must first admit to God, themselves, and trusted others, they are wounded and take ownership of their wounds. These wounds, untended, cause our alienation, separation, isolation, and loneliness. There is nothing blameworthy or shameful to recognize vulnerability. We take our place with the confession of Isaiah, “I am undone!” We feel our wounds and that makes us human beings in need of healing. The coal of holiness heals every wound!
Yes, face the reality of our own hurts and wounds. Don’t hide behind a façade of perfection or a false self. When we become vulnerable, coping is no longer a chore. Hurting with God and others is redemptive. We are card-carrying “we-who-are-weary-and-hurting” people with wounds and scars. Self-caused or otherwise.
“Nobody escapes being wounded. We are all wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. The main question is not, 'How can we hide our wounds?' so we don't have to be embarrassed, but 'How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?' When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.” Henri Nouwen
Yet the call to be instruments of healing is insistent. The challenge, be always ready despite the wounds we carry. How could we? By looking to Jesus, our wounded savior, liberator and healer.
He embraced rejection, false accusations, betrayal, abandonment, crucifixion. Those are our transgressions that wounded him (Isaiah 53.5). Fatally. But by his stripes healing invaded our souls. In the same way, we wounded healers are called to demonstrate and declare heaven’s liberation at hand. This helps me cope. How about you?